At the first Spring meeting of the Ratheniska Coven, Myrtle, whose application for membership had just been accepted the previous Autumn brought up the issue of two-tier Coven membership. She noticed the different coloured name badges on the members. Her own was green for example whereas Miss Agatha’s was a gleaming gold. All members of the Coven paid the same membership dues. “Chairman, I was curious about the fact that some of our members wear gold coloured name badges and others wear green. Surely, we are a small enough group that we don’t need name badges at all unless we attend convention or invite in outsiders,” she said when invited to speak. Miss Agatha cleared her throat, “Well, Myrtle, some of us are native to this place and we know better what is best for the community than more recent arrivals, so naturally our opinion is more valuable and carries greater weight in decisions making regarding Coven activities” said Agatha with a tight little smile as she looked at Myrtle over the rim of her glasses.
Myrtle was stunned, “surely proposals are accepted on merit regardless of the source?” “Of course, it’s just that proposals from the native born usually have greater merit. And the next item on the agenda is a fundraiser for earthquake refugees. Ideas anyone?” Myrtle was slack-jawed and speechless at that reply, but anyone who knew Myrtle knew that she wouldn’t be for long, the way she flicked her pencil back and forth indicating a tension that would lead to action, but she said nothing further that night. After the usual tea and biscuits that closed their meeting, Myrtle made her way back to the 1.5-million-euro mansion she had built locally and looked up a list of all the recent arrivals to the locality and their numbers. She certainly wasn’t going to allow the old brigade to dictate policy on community affairs to her!
Agatha watched her leave the meeting that evening and something about the way Myrtle walked told her that there was trouble afoot and she called after Beatrice, “just wait a minute, dear, there is something I’d love to discuss with you,” as Beatrice was donning her cloak and preparing to leave. Beatrice cocked her head, raised her eyebrows but put her broom aside and sat down again. “What?” “It’s that woman, Myrtle, who does she think she is? Questioning the way we do business here? That’s some nerve for a newcomer! Who proposed her for membership, I’d like to know!”
‘Well, I did warn you dear, that those coloured name tags were provocative, after all, those blow-ins pay the same subscription as ourselves.”
“Never mind that now, what are we going to do to clip that one’s wings!” Said Agatha. Beatrice just raised her eyebrows, picked up her broom and left.
In the meantime, Myrtle was busy contacting every other newcomer and canvassing them regarding the injustice of the two-tier membership system and asking for their vote for the position of Coven Chair in the upcoming elections, promising that the first thing she would change was that insulting two-tier system. They all seemed enthusiastic for the change and Myrtle went to bed happy, encouraged by the support and confident that she had enough votes to carry the day. The next meeting wasn’t due for four weeks and she thought she had the matter sorted.
But Agatha was busy also, meeting up with the old native daughters of Ratheniska outside the chapel on Sunday, she reminded them that there was very little work from the newcomers for the community efforts that mattered, such as the youth club volunteering, community hall maintenance, graveyard upkeep, chapel cleaning, and yet they were in charge of most committees in the locality. By the time she finished speaking, most were in agreement that it would be a shame if the last bastion of native influence, the Local Coven were to fall to the control of a newcomer. So, Agatha called a meeting for the following Wednesday night, and somehow forgot to inform Myrtle. She proposed a change of constitution for the Ratheniska Coven. She proposed that only members in good standing for over ten years were eligible for the offices of Chair, Secretary or Treasurer and as it happened, it was passed unanimously. Needless to say, Myrtle heard about the matter within the hour, such was the efficiency of the bush telegraph in Ratheniska.
Agatha was delighted but surprised at the ease with which this motion passed and wondered was there something going on that she was unaware of. The answer was presented to her when she went to collect her grandchild at the school gate some days later. She overheard one of the mothers discussing the local news. The woman was just saying that there was a new group starting in the parish which she proposed joining – the Ratheniska Womanly Witches Society as the Ratheniska Coven was too much of an old hags’ group for her! And guess who had started that group? Yes, you’re right, none other than Miss Myrtle. Agatha just shook her head — outwitted by a blow-in, oh, the shame of it!
Myrtle was delighted with the attendance at her inaugural meeting of the Ratheniska Womanly Witches Society, which was held during the Under Elevens football training on Sunday morning, a welcome excuse to come in from the cold on the sidelines of the football pitch and help themselves to a hot drink in the community hall kitchen. “Welcome, ladies, to the first meeting of our society,” said Myrtle as she passed around the clipboard for signatures, “as you know we are here to form another and more up to date and relevant witches’ group than the Ratheniska Coven, not replace them, mind you, age still has its value, of course, but that group just doesn’t meet the needs of the younger community members and their families. So, without further ado let us proceed to the election of officers.”
Business attended to, Myrtle went off home after the meeting, pleased as punch with herself, only to find a letter on the mat inside her door. It was addressed to Ms. Myrtle, Chair of the Ratheniska, Womanly Witches Society. Myrtle felt a frisson of excitement at being so addressed and tore open the envelope. It was from the CEO of the DAA, and it read:
Dear Ms. Myrtle,
I got your details from Ms. Agatha of the Ratheniska Coven as the person most likely to be able to help us in our present dilemma. Dublin Airport has been shut down repeatedly in the last few months with unauthorised drones flying in the vicinity of the airport. The transport minister doesn’t seem to be able to deal with the matter in the short term, he’s too busy dealing with pileups in the cycle lanes. Could you and your ladies come to our aid?
Yours faithfully,
CEO of DAA
Myrtle was aghast, the group had an offer of employment which they were in no position to respond to, none of her group had as yet taken even a preliminary course in broom flying, she had hoped that their first assignment might be something simple like making honey and lavender drinks for the elderly, but here they were, being asked to save the nation from the embarrassment of being the only country in Europe who hadn’t made plans to tackle this menace. Myrtle made herself a cup of tea while she considered her options, eventually her patriotic spirit won the day and she swallowed her pride and brought the letter to Agatha’s house.
“Agatha, something has come up and I’d value your help,” she said as soon as she accepted Agatha’s offer of a seat while she made the tea.
“Oh, I doubt if I’d have anything useful to offer, so old-fashioned as I am,” said Agatha with a smirk.
“It’s the DAA, they’re looking for help dealing with the drone menace,” said Myrtle.
“Ah a nice modern problem, just up your alley I’d imagine.”
“Well actually, no, none of our ladies have got their broom flying licenses yet. And I was hoping you could help us,”
“How exactly?” Agatha asked.
“Well, come with us and intercept those drones, of course,” said Myrtle,
“And what exactly will your ladies be doing while we do all the work?” Asked Agatha.
“Well, we could report the successful conclusion of the operation to the DAA, couldn’t we?” Said Myrtle.
“Only if you can actually conclude the work, I’d say”
“So, you won’t help us then?”
“Well, I certainly won’t do your work and leave you take the credit, Myrtle.”
“I was sure you would be more public spirited about this.”
“I believe you would be best to contact the DAA and let them know that you are unable to help on this occasion, and you are handing the matter over to more experienced practitioners.”
Myrtle gritted her teeth, she didn’t think Agatha would be quite so bloody minded as to rub her nose in it like this, she seemed like such a sweet little lady when she first met her. But she knew she had to put the country’s interest before her ego.
Her shoulders sagged as she whispered “right so.”
Agatha hid an evil little smile behind her tea cup as she thought, “ah yes, age and cunning beats youth and enthusiasm every time.”
